Su had needed her quiet time. Her space to be away from the world and blogger-sphere.
I hadn't wondered far.
Not far from being found physically at the Delectable outlet... and maintaining her promise to deliver beautiful cakes to happy customers she loves so dearly.
To those who have sent me sweet emails; left messages filled with kind words and uplifting gestures on facebook and my blog; to those who sent me text messages, called and especially those who have took the time to embrace me personally at the store; I forward my sincerest gratitude. Though it does freak me out a little bit when I get given hugs from concerned strangers who I probably am not a stranger to. *laughs* It's just a TEeennyy weenny bit creepy when I can feel that they understand how I feel when I have no clue who they are.
Contrastingly from the way I thought I would feel; I found it incredibly heartwarming. It's kept me going.. it's pushed me forward to this inevitable need for me to move on; carry myself above this and smile again for what it's worth.
My lovely Delectable elves have been cheering me forth and doing silly things to make me smile.. They are ever so darling to their evil boss. I can't thank them enough for their understanding and love. They didn't have to tip toe around me for the first couple of days; but I appreciate how they had attempted to politely let my gloominess pass how I saw fit.
My job has become my life. My blog has become a window to look into all these pretty little things inside of it...but the past week; it has been filled with shades of grey from my inability to create spontaneous rainbows. I guess the care bear in me took a vacation.
I've just got to find that old closet of mine filled with bunny rabbits; joy and fluffy clouds again. I knew I saved some for my rainy days; Su's very good at that. *grin*
A charming lady walked in the other day and announced herself as my biggest fan. She raved about how she's followed my journey right from the start and how she knows everything about the way I've learnt this trade to the day I found true love, moved to America and understands me up to this day that she's standing here listening to me speak to her in person. She said she could hear me speak; my voice.. as she read words I wrote on each post.. and that she could feel the hurt I was going through when I did. I ran toward her and gave her a huge huge hug. I had friends I didn't know I had. She said he had never come to the store... but she had to now.. because she had to see for herself that I was okay. I was so close to a tear; but yes, one rule in the Delectable roof; no tears! no tears of any sort! Only love, laughter and bucket loads of joy! Haha
She's my inspiration to move on.
A couple of days later I met another young girl.. a sweet couple.. a bunch of school children.. a mother of 3...OMG! There are so many of you quiet ones out there! Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and beyond! *xoxoxoxoxo*
My family has always been my rock; the place I latch myself onto as I venture into crazy ideas and escapades of risk-full danger! They caught me when I fell... and for that I am so grateful. I guess they could see what I was going through but they knew I had to learn for myself to pick myself up and learn to be happy again however I deem possible.
For those who worry for me and my happiness; need not my dears... my family is with me and my closest friends have got my back. I will regain all these little joyful things that made me the 'girl with a passion'. Just in time. Losing Jo has created this new emotional level of sorrow which I've been so lucky to have never come across in the past... which I suppose was quite difficult to overcome abruptly.
My cakes continue to just be as beautiful. I squeeze every last ounce of inspiration within me to keep Delectable alive and even better each day. I take pride in what I do and it really does show how much I've grown as a person. My responsibility and word to others have become more important than my personal emotions or inadequacy. In fact; my cakes continue to give me confidence and creates a focus for me to fight the negativity I battle with everyday. Facing happy couples and beautifully married pairs everyday hurts unimaginably... but truth is; they also give me hope; Hope that one day I can feel just the same.
**you can all stop stalking me on facebook now. I'm back all!!! Su's BACK! I promise~yes.. fine fine.. will answer your emails and requests/comments in the morning kay. only because I love you! Hehe
I forgot the reasons why I shared my life and it's secrets so publicly for a second. ....
And now I remember... it's because it gave me a means to gather rainbows from around the world. Rainbows which create an inspiring and Delectable me; Rainbows which sprout from all these Delectable people I call my friends; Rainbows which are you. :)
XOXO;
Su
No comments:
Post a Comment