You Talkin' To Me?

Remember, bakers: It's never polite to ask a lady her age.

Writing it out on her birthday cake is perfectly ok, though.

(Also be sure to emphasize the "Old Woman" part; seniors LOVE that.)

Oh what a difference a missing "t" can make:

And you thought that high school nickname would never catch up to you.

Don't worry, Julie; I'm sure the baker just had a "wisp!"

I've been short for as long as I can remember, so I can say with some authority that this is why you should always order the *regular size* birthday cake:

Also, according to a t-shirt I saw once we're not "mini," we're "fun-size." So there.

When celebrating a lucky couple's recent engagement, it helps to say something complimentary:

And also to remember that "monkey" and "lucky" sound exactly the same in Wreckerator.

According to a recent survey,* "Pop-Pop" is the number one nickname for adorable grandfathers. (Awww.)

Guess what number two is?

Thanks to Cindy J., Erica L. & Erin P., Julie W., Gary L., Joann B., & Koby, who are talking to me, and actually do find me amusing. So that's seven.


* Which I just made up.

Bless His Heart

After seeing the first communion cake his Sunday School ordered for him, Seth's mom suspected a parent-teacher conference might be in the works.

Jaz I, I know sometimes you just really want sprinkles, but this is getting ridiculous.

A Disaster of Biblical Proportions

And I thought dogs and cats living together was bad. Man.


Monika D., I think we're gonna need a bigger umbrella. Oh, and "Tanks."

NOTE: I'm trying something new: multiple postings a day! So if the morning post seems short, like this one, that's your cue that more Wreckage will be published later that day. We'll still have our longer marathon-style posts, of course; I just figured I'd try shaking things up a bit. Hope you like it. (And if you don't like it, hope you don't comment all troll-like.)