Saturday, December 25, 2010

Talking in Code

There is nothing more public than a blog. Like this one. Heh.. will let you guys in on a small secret about my writing.Since.. maybe the last year or so; I push in occasional slots about my private life; but in 'code'. Closer friends of mine would read particular blog posts and giggle.. smirk or.. go *pfft* hahaha Cause they know what's going on in my head! :)
At the end of the day; this is my journal... it does follow me through my baking life; job and plans with Delectable; but i also very much want it to be a personal space where I can note down significant happenings in my personal life.
Several years ago; I would have probably just went "OH YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!! ..BLAHHH blah blahHh" well; in many instances; that has sorta eventually backfired and came back to haunt me. It bothers the people I speak about.. and it bothers my parents that everything I do is publicly shared. It's a love hate relationship. I love it when people come up to me to tell me how significantly they remember a cake from the stories I told about it from the way I felt when I made it.... and I hate it when they occasionally make assumptions about my personality from what they read online. I mean... seriously.. is everyone with Internet access out there a part time psychologist ? *grin* I've got very VERY sweet readers actually.. most of them are full of praises and encouragement. I would say ALL of them are... other than the occasional "I THINK i HATE you" email i get once a year from random 'anonymous' individuals. *shrug* those are forgettable *wink*
10 years down the line; i want to read something I wrote and think to myself.. ahhh I was describing this.. this and this.. Hmmmm maybe one day I will decode all my writing for the world to see! hahaha but not yet.. not yet.. I'm not in a point in my life where I'm comfortable doing that. *giggle*Well... sometimes talking in code is tiresome. So ... I'm just going to say as it is.
I've fallen in love with a man.
I can't say who cause he'd be coming after me with a cleaver! but i can't tell you how good in feels to be able to fall in love again. We've got some good times and many many bad ones.. but I've got a feeling it's one of those which gets better in time. I thought it'd never happen this way. But I'm so happy it did. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry. He's got a hold of my heart and I'm not too certain what I would want to make of this. .. ...
I might have even picked the wrong person to fall for altogether! haha; I'm a pro at that type of thing... *sigh* unfortunate.

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