It's always been that way with us since the 3 years that we've decided to share something special together. The distance and the growing apart from each other has been inevitable with how busy I've been getting at Delectable and all sorts of other work related agenda. We're 2 complete strangers in 2 separate worlds; being together with mutual respect for each other. Unfortunately, my happy ending is no more.
I'm now a full year older; making me exactly 24 years of age in the last 12 hours; but I feel way more than a mere 24. I've left him behind and have expected too much from a young boy who just wants to live his youth and freedom. I miss times when we shared special memories; but i'm not the type to live in the past. I'm all for moving on.. for progress and for betterment. He's all for history, honor and friendship. That's what makes him who he is; but that's what tore us apart. He believes
'It's not about where you are, rather who you are surrounded by that matters most.'...but I beg to differ. It's not about where or who you are surrounded by; it's how you carry yourself as an individual entity in every situation or circle of people which matters the most.
He always said;
"Love is all you need"Well.. I've convinced him otherwise and now I guess it's backfired on me! haha I'm not going to keep holding on to something which wants to give up on this.
I probably wont forget this birthday for the rest of my life.. but I want this post to be a reminder to me to never again think that the best things in my life will always be there and true. He said he'd love me forever; and would go to the ends of the earth for me... but I guess that place is here and forever ends now as I should have guessed.
I live for today; I strive for tomorrow and dream for the future; and I've always had that little picture perfect family of the both of us in those dreams.. i'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. Should have listened to sis and mom when they told me to fight for what I cared for; to try harder when I know I should.
Well, the deed is done; I can't possibly make beautiful cakes with this current frame of mind.. i'll just tie brownie ribbons instead. Haha
I wish to wake up the next morning to rainbows or sunshine.
It will be another day... a day without him; but it will be a good day.
I just know it.
I'm not ready to give up on my dreams of us just yet... but that day will come when I'm strong again.
I could never make ice-cream without thinking of all those happy times it's brought me.
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